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Murdering Mary Sue

Every aspiring writer has met her at least once, whether in his own works or in those of others. The alluring temptation of a perfect character taunts the author from one side while his muse urges him to keep writing from the other. Who wouldn't love her? She's the most beautiful, talented, fantastic woman in the universe, with not a flaw in sight. Every woman wants to be her; every man wants to marry her, so why would anyone want to kill her? Who would want to murder Mary Sue?
I would. I and many greater authors have been working hard to keep this succubus in her proper place: the trash can. Mary Sue is one of the worst enemies of good fiction, second only to poor spelling and grammar. And the seductress tempts even the most cautious writer. Her many disguises can make her difficult to spot, allowing her to weave her way into every plot twist and turn, slowly destroying the author's work. By the time she’s found, she may have done so much damage that the only way to repair the story is to start over entirely. This is why we need to learn to spot her early, and kill her before her destructive charms go too far.

Who Is She?

Surprisingly few authors I’ve met have ever heard of Mary Sue. Admittedly, she’s very difficult to define, given that no two Mary Sues are exactly alike. The best definition I’ve seen opens a Wikipedia article on the subject, and can be summarized as such:
Mary Sue is a derogatory term for a fictional character whose traits, skills, and abilities are inadequately justified, thus failing to maintain believability. These characters are overly idealized and cliché, lacking in noteworthy flaws, and usually function as an author’s means of wish-fulfillment or self-insertion. A Mary Sue is often described in excessive detail when compared to other main characters, and is found most often in fan fiction and original fiction. The unbelievable nature of the character frequently causes the audience to immediately dislike her.
Now that’s a mouthful! It’s very difficult to describe Mary Sue in any less terms, however the bottom line is simple: Mary Sue is unrealistic. This is why many beginning authors are deceived into creating her; they try so hard to write something unique that they forget the element of believability that has to be maintained. This isn’t confined to female characters either. Mary’s male counterpart – Gary Stu – is just as bad. Good writing depends upon spotting these characters before they get out of hand, and the following guideline will help you get started.

What’s In a Name?

Let’s begin with perhaps the most important part of any story’s main character: her name. Without a name of some sort, a character is quickly brushed off as unimportant, as background, as a minor detail behind the real protagonists. Yes, names are very, very important. There are many essays on choosing the right name for your characters, and giving a complete tutorial of this task is beyond the scope of this article. Instead, we will only focus specifically on what should not be done when naming characters, or at least used with caution.
#1 Variations of the author’s name. Is your character’s name the same as or a variation of your own name, be that your first, middle, last, or nickname? Using my name as an example (Katherine Elise Logan), Mary Sue could be called any of the following: Katherine, Kathy, Katie, Kate, Kat, Katran, Catherine, Elise, Ellis, Logan, Kel (my initials), Kelly… and so on. This isn’t even including nicknames. Now, an author shouldn’t be discouraged from using his own name as his character’s just because it could lead to a Mary Sue; it is generally only considered bad when used to name a main character in fan-fiction. Obvious allusions to the author (such as using your name exactly) should still be avoided unless the character is supposed to be the author, since readers will immediately recognize this as a self-insertion.
#2 Unusual spellings of ordinary names. This is an easy one to catch. There is a significant difference between a character named Alexander and one named Alyckzandre. Generally speaking, names shouldn’t look like they were generated by randomly pushing buttons on a keyboard. Avoid this as much as possible, unless there is a logical explanation for the unusual spelling. For example, Frank Beddor’s The Looking Glass Wars is a new twist on Lewis Carol’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. In this book, the name of the main character is Alyss, and its spelling is contested by the Liddells when they adopt her and force her to use the more traditional Alice. The reason for her unique name is because she is from the magical world of Wonderland, where such things are the norm.
#3 Opposite gender names. As with unusual spellings, characters shouldn’t be given names meant for the opposite gender. Note that there are many unisex names such as Shannon, Nancy, and Kyle, as well as short versions of longer names that sound like they were meant for the opposite gender (Charlie for Charlene, Ash for Ashley, etc.). These do not fall into this category.
#4 Nouns and verbs. Have you ever been tempted to name a character any of the following: Raven, Willow, Speed, Ruby, Eclipse, Katana, or anything that was a noun or verb (regardless of spelling or variation) not normally used as a name? This, like naming a character after yourself, isn’t necessarily bad, but should be used with extreme caution. Anime in particular is notorious for using this method of naming. Take the villains from the first two seasons of Sailor Moon, who are almost entirely named after gemstones: Malachite, Nephrite, Jedite, Zoisite, Queen Beryl, Prince Diamond, Sapphire, Emerald, and Rubeus, a male variation on Ruby.
#5 Self-named characters. Unless the character was an orphan or had some logical reason to change her given name, there is no reason she should be naming herself. Because she didn’t like her original name is not a good excuse.
#6 Another character’s name. If you’re writing a story in which the main character is a wizard, don’t name him Harry. Borrowing interesting character names from other fictional worlds is fine as long as the similarities end there.
#7 Anachronistic and foreign names. It’s going to be really hard to take your medieval knight seriously if his name is Sir Jamal, especially if he’s Anglo-Saxon. Likewise, it makes no sense for an African-American gangster with no Asian heritage to be name Kojiro. Make sure your character’s name fits with his time and culture.

Looks Are Important

The first thing readers usually learn about a character is her appearance. Writers are constantly struggling with how much detail is put into this important part in the characterization process, and beginners tend to waver between too much or too little. Mary Sue is always described with excessive detail, often having grossly more descriptions than her non-Sue cast. The following points are what should be looked for when figuring out what your character will look like.
#1 Look-a-likes. Never, ever should a character’s description begin with anything along the lines of “looks just like…” That said, you shouldn’t use details that are obviously the same as another, existing character; we all know who has messy black hair, round glasses, and a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt on his forehead. Characters who look just like you should also be avoided, although this isn’t nearly as damaging. Lastly, making minor changes to the character’s appearance (“It’s a moon shaped scar!”) still counts as making a look-a-like.
#2 Exceptionally beautiful characters. The man is tall, dark, and handsome; the woman is curvalicious. Describing your character as an idealized beauty is a major warning sign of Mary Sue. A character should never be completely “perfect” or “the most beautiful woman in the land.” Make the man short and fat. Give the woman small breasts and a crooked nose. It’s these details – the flaws – that make the character interesting. Having no flaws makes the character flat. Also keep in mind that how other characters react is important too: even if your character looks like Quasimodo’s identical twin, it defeats the point if all of the other characters still think she’s the most beautiful thing that graced the Earth. Have some think she’s ugly. Have some not care at all. Only have a scarce few who truly fawn over her.
#3 Unrealistic physiques. How would you look if you lived off of pizza and chocolate cake and never exercised? You certainly wouldn’t be pencil-thin, and neither should your character if this is how he eats. As with the above, characters should have figures that fit with their eating and exercising habits. A college student who eats poorly and doesn’t exercise doesn’t have to be a blimp, but there is no way she is going to have a nice flat stomach or rock hard abs. Simply put, be realistic.
#4 Poetic terms. It’s alright to say that your character’s flaxen hair cascades down her shoulders like a waterfall; it isn’t alright to say her luscious flaxen hair cascades gently down her bare shoulders, as smooth and pale as cream, flowing like a river in spring… blah blah blah. Using poetic or flowery terms to describe a character’s appearance is best done with caution and moderation. Hair should rarely be referred to as locks, waves, or curls, and there is no appropriate synonym for eyes. For the love of good writing, never call them orbs or spheres unless they are no longer in the character’s skull. As true as the shape may be, eyes are never completely seen and don’t look spherical.
#5 Colors. Certain colors simply don’t appear naturally in humans. The more a character’s hair, skin, and eye color deviates from what could naturally occur, the closer they are to being Mary Sue. In other words, a human with red or gold eyes and naturally hot pink hair is dangerously Sue-ish. This particular point, however, is directly relevant to the fictional universe in which the character exists. If Technicolor skin is the norm in your world, then don’t worry about making your character dark green.
#6 Stereotypes. As with look-a-likes, don’t use a stereotype to describe your character’s appearance. His outfit should not be “a ninja’s outfit,” or “pirate garb,” or anything similar. This is one of those instances where more detail (instead of less) is needed.
#7 Hygiene and injuries. This is one of those common sense mistakes: if a character has been working out for hours, he isn’t going to smell very pretty. Likewise, a character who has been in battle won’t just smell horrible, but will probably also be injured and bloody. Don’t be afraid to describe him as such, because it simply doesn’t make sense for an active, skilled warrior to come out of battle completely clean and unscathed.
#8 Practicality and anachronisms. A chain mail bikini is not practical armor, nor did it ever exist prior to modern times. Hot pink latex is not a practical spy suit for an ancient Japanese ninja. Skin-tight leather is hardly practical for anyone other than heavy metal singers. Just as you wouldn’t wear a suit of armor to bed, nor should your characters dress in clothing that doesn’t fit the time period or setting.

It’s What’s Inside That Counts
Personality is what makes characters come alive, and great care should be taken when giving life to your creations. How your character reacts to situations – or how others react to your character – is an integral to believable characters. Most Mary Sues have very flat personalities and are easy to recognize as bad, but characters with overbearing personalities should also be avoided. As a general rule, if you wouldn’t expect to find someone like your character in real life, then you shouldn’t expect her to work well in your story. This is also where the character’s history and heritage come into play. These details are the final part of fleshing out your character.
#1 Unusual sub-races and hybrids. Let’s just get this one out of the way: if you’ve established a norm for a particular race in your story, don’t have your character deviate too much from that. For example, if vampires in your world turn instantly to dust when sunlight touches their skin, don’t make your character the sole vampire who can prance around during the day without being harmed. Additionally, avoid anything other than half-human hybrids: half-angel/half-dragon is a bit extreme. Remember that your character’s parents had to conceive him in some logical manner. Lastly, your half-breed should have strengths and weaknesses of both races, not just the strengths. He should be a true half-breed: not as strong as a purebred, but not as weak either.
#2 Ms. Popularity. As mentioned in the previous section on appearance, your character shouldn’t be everyone’s favorite girl. Conversely, she shouldn’t be loathed or envied by everyone either. There’s nothing wrong with her being popular, but there should be some realistic reasons that readers can relate to. Even if those reasons are superficial (“She’s so smart!”), as long as someone recognizes them as such in the story.
#3 The best of the best. Being the best of the best is frequently a major plot point in stories. Just make sure your character is only the best of the best of one thing. Any more than that is unreasonable. Also allow ample time for this training. An expert swordsman who learned skills in a month that normally take years to master is absurd.
#4 Inexplicable wealth. This one is short and simple: if your character has wealth with no logical explanation (a job, wealthy parents, etc.), then he needs to be revised. Characters with money need some explanation for having it, no matter how they get it.
#5 Classic clichés. There are so many of these that they all can’t be fully detailed. The most common cliché background characteristics are:
  • The character suffers from amnesia.
    • The character discovers s/he is really a noble (before or after amnesia).
      • The character is a noble in disguise.
        • The character was orphaned or abandoned at an early age.
          • The character is unusually accomplished for his/her age, occupation, and/or social status.
            • The character is inexplicably multilingual.
              • The character inherits/possesses a powerful artifact.
                • The character was mistreated in some way as a child.
                  • The major villain kills the character’s family and/or friends during his/her youth.
                    • The character was responsible for the death of his/her family and/or friends (accidental or deliberate).
                      • The character witnessed the death of his/her family and/or friends.
                        • The character is “the chosen one.”
                          • The character is the last survivor of a race.
                            • The character was raised in extreme poverty.
                              • The character was a slave.
                                • The character ran away from an arranged marriage.
                                  • The character had some sort of pain-filled, horrible, tragic past.
                                    • The character has a job normally associated with the opposite gender.
                                      • The character seems to get out of tough situations on luck alone.
                                        • The character discovers a new power at a crucial moment.

And these aren’t even all of the possible clichés. To avoid them, ask yourself how often you’ve heard of something similar before. The less times you can think of, the better.

The Bottom Line: Use Common Sense
All of the above advice should be taken with a heavy dose of common sense. Just because your character has many of the characteristics listed doesn’t mean that she’s a Mary Sue, it just means that you need to keep an eye on her. There are plenty of characters that have multiple Sue-ish traits that aren’t: Harry Potter, for one. He was orphaned as a child, considered a sort of “chosen one,” has limitless access to money (though a brief, if somewhat unbelievable, explanation is given), is one of the best Quidditch players in the history of Hogwarts, is also the youngest Seeker, is uncannily lucky, and has a tendency to discover some new ability at just the right moment to save him. Yet Harry Potter is not a Mary Sue. This is a guide for everyone, and good writers will learn to use all traits to their advantage. As with any story, use your best judgment. With practice, you’ll never have to deal with Ms. Sue again.

Remember, having Sue traits doesn't always mean your character is bad. Context and how the character is written are important! You can't give me a character blurb with all the potentially dangerous traits listed and expect me to be able to give you a yes or no answer. Writing well is far more complicated than that.

If you are worried about your character, trust your gut instinct and get someone you know will be objective to review your story, not just the character alone.

And if you still must explain...


For my second piece in Non-Fiction Workshop, I decided to rant about Mary Sues. I hope this helps some aspiring writers out there.

EDIT: O_o! Holy white rice, Batman! I got a Daily Deviation! *completely shocked* I must say I never expected to have this honor before.


For an experiment in classic cliches (not to mention storytelling in general), check out my interactive fiction project: Edge of Thorns!
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Daily Deviation

Given 2008-05-21
Who doesn't like a good murder mystery? In Murdering Mary Sue, by ~Cei-Ellem, writers will find a resource they can return to time and time again. ( Featured by GeneratingHype )
NiftyNautilus Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Traditional Artist
I like giving my characters unusual skin/hair colors naturally because, when I was a little kid, I never had a flesh-tone crayon in my crayon box and made everyone orange or pink (and sometimes plenty of other colors), and decided to keep that as part of my style because I thought it looked cool. 
However, I have a character named Opus Olivewood who has green skin, green hair, two different eyes, and polydactylism, yet he is not a Gary Stu by any means. He's forgetful, sees the world in black and white, a little too stubborn, oversensitive, and has trouble with people skills. I don't overdo my characters' designs, and many of my characters are unattractive, but in spite of my tendency towards exotic coloration, I take the time to develop my characters' personalities so that they don't morph into Sues. :D
Cei-Ellem Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Writer
As long as it makes sense in the context of the story, anything goes! I mean, look at the Hunger Games: plenty of technicolored skin there (at least in one area).

By the way, there's a name for seeing in black and white (if you mean that literally): achromatopsia.
NiftyNautilus Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Student Traditional Artist
Nope, I meant morality-wise, but it's okay! It's his real skin color because that's the art style and also because he and many related characters are from a parallel universe to ours. :)
LaDeary Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was very useful and informative! :clap: Thanks for all the great info.
Cei-Ellem Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome ^_^
claire-the-wolf1 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist
fuck when i was younger my oc was 'the chosen one' o help the sobbs *hides far away*
Cei-Ellem Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It happens. I think all writers write at least one "chosen one" character at some point.
claire-the-wolf1 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2014  Hobbyist
Yeah >.< At least I was only 8 when I made her
Oldsoul-Mira Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Student General Artist
I remember my first OC was mary sue through and throughonion head &quot;shame&quot; ...ah, good times...Snif..Is Beautiful..Onion 

congrats on your DD btw. lovely tangent :>
Cei-Ellem Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Heh, thanks ^_^
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